Not that anyone but me will visit this, but here's my attempt to not be lazy: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Aok5O0v_XOlVdDdIMi1qRFFZN1RYSlN3TmNjSUtmVXc&usp=sharing
Now, off to nap.
About Me
- Melly
- A horticulture undergrad at Clemson, I’m a fan of the outdoors and wildlife.
I find myself busy with something 100% of the time, because I can't allow myself to be bored. I get myself into a lot of things, and sometimes that leads to fantastic stories.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
I owe an explanation
I'm awful at keeping blogs. I want to post daily, but I haven't enough to say daily, so I skip a day. That's really where the problem lies: I wait until I should say something, but then I'm already out of the blogging grind and I never get back into it.
I really should vent somewhere, though, that isn't going to judge me. I'm unsure if I'll share this with friends. Maybe I'll share specific posts. Facebook isn't cutting it for me: I'm supposed to post things I think you guys will like, and if you don't I'm subject to being part of the '25 things you shouldn't do on FB' ridicule, and although I have a strong urge to do what I want I'm sure it makes me bias. I can't go on and say I feel crappy without people telling me why I shouldn't. I know why I shouldn't. I didn't say I feel crappy and I deserve to feel crappy. I just do. Get past it.
Also, I need to find a way to keep my eating in check. I'm not exactly saying I'm big - I'm definitely within healthy weight levels, but I can see things... expanding. Slowly. Like a converging snail colony. You really don't realize how much time and effort it takes to get 200 snails in one spot, but once it's there, well.. you get to clean it up, because I won't. Same with my belly. And sometimes my thighs. But not my boobs, those can stay. I like those.
This isn't me saying I don't like myself and I'd like to make that a clear point from the get-go. I rather enjoy my existence, thank you. It's just that I know it's harder to take it off than it is to prevent it, and since it's hard enough to buy pants as it is (I have a wide hip line and a very not-wide waist) let's not make it worse, shall we? On top of that, more importantly, there's the interest of health and safety and of my not wanting to spend money on my ever-changing size.
I know I'm not getting my daily recommended anything. I looked it up. I eat a quarter cup of oatmeal in the morning (a serving, which is about 30 carbs and 150 calories and 7 grams of fiber, among other things). The internets say I need 250 carbs and 2300 calories and 20 grams of fiber. I'm very busy, and very interested in getting a larger portion of what I need in my mornings, rather than lunch or - God forbid- dinner. I don't sleep well lately as it is (allergies, usually, what with their headaches and pressure and sneezing..), so I don't need a full stomach making it worse (and adding to my waistline).
I refuse to post the intimate, scientific details of every meal I eat. I just want to have a list of what I'm actually eating, and I want to combine it with how I'm feeling. If I had the money, I'd go largely vegan-organic-hippie-nonGM-wheatfree-etc. I'm not sure what that leaves me with to work on eating (tofu and kale?), but I see that diet as something that could largely expand my cooking skills and recipe repetoire. It can also highly increase my food budget and drive me insane with how much prep and saving I have to do - something I can't do right now. I try to make food ahead of time. People end up wanting to eat out with me on campus (it's annoying when I need to microwave something and they just buy a sub, okay? Especially when walking downtown. It's incredibly inconvenient and you know it, so scoff at someone else, reader-face.) I also get home at 7-8 a lot of the time, or I'm incessantly lazy. The latter isn't an excuse as much as it is a general trend. I have homework, and generally more of it than I appreciate.
Anyway. If I track things, maybe I'll see what I can cut out of my diet. Big problem: I require the occasional change of pace. I can't eat oatmeal every morning for more than about a month. So, every four weeks, if I've done the same thing generally every day, I need to switch it up. It's easier to predict that if I keep a chart than it is if I hope I'll still like it, buy it and waste it. It's happened, and I feel bad contributing to such a large global problem. Where some want to save the chickens (and my heart does go out to those who can avoid meat, because I can't yet) I want to actually eat what I pay for - and not overeat. So far, the latter hasn't been too problematic.
So far, I think my most intelligent approach is a long-term Excel sheet. I can do one every thirty days and see where I'm at by the end. It'll be easier to edit, leave me with fewer sheets to read, and give me a better way to compare daily stuff like mood, snacking and so forth. It might help me with my migraines, my hormonal fluxes and my sometimes-tired sometimes-not phenomenon. Hope it's a not-sucky idea.
I really should vent somewhere, though, that isn't going to judge me. I'm unsure if I'll share this with friends. Maybe I'll share specific posts. Facebook isn't cutting it for me: I'm supposed to post things I think you guys will like, and if you don't I'm subject to being part of the '25 things you shouldn't do on FB' ridicule, and although I have a strong urge to do what I want I'm sure it makes me bias. I can't go on and say I feel crappy without people telling me why I shouldn't. I know why I shouldn't. I didn't say I feel crappy and I deserve to feel crappy. I just do. Get past it.
Also, I need to find a way to keep my eating in check. I'm not exactly saying I'm big - I'm definitely within healthy weight levels, but I can see things... expanding. Slowly. Like a converging snail colony. You really don't realize how much time and effort it takes to get 200 snails in one spot, but once it's there, well.. you get to clean it up, because I won't. Same with my belly. And sometimes my thighs. But not my boobs, those can stay. I like those.
This isn't me saying I don't like myself and I'd like to make that a clear point from the get-go. I rather enjoy my existence, thank you. It's just that I know it's harder to take it off than it is to prevent it, and since it's hard enough to buy pants as it is (I have a wide hip line and a very not-wide waist) let's not make it worse, shall we? On top of that, more importantly, there's the interest of health and safety and of my not wanting to spend money on my ever-changing size.
I know I'm not getting my daily recommended anything. I looked it up. I eat a quarter cup of oatmeal in the morning (a serving, which is about 30 carbs and 150 calories and 7 grams of fiber, among other things). The internets say I need 250 carbs and 2300 calories and 20 grams of fiber. I'm very busy, and very interested in getting a larger portion of what I need in my mornings, rather than lunch or - God forbid- dinner. I don't sleep well lately as it is (allergies, usually, what with their headaches and pressure and sneezing..), so I don't need a full stomach making it worse (and adding to my waistline).
I refuse to post the intimate, scientific details of every meal I eat. I just want to have a list of what I'm actually eating, and I want to combine it with how I'm feeling. If I had the money, I'd go largely vegan-organic-hippie-nonGM-wheatfree-etc. I'm not sure what that leaves me with to work on eating (tofu and kale?), but I see that diet as something that could largely expand my cooking skills and recipe repetoire. It can also highly increase my food budget and drive me insane with how much prep and saving I have to do - something I can't do right now. I try to make food ahead of time. People end up wanting to eat out with me on campus (it's annoying when I need to microwave something and they just buy a sub, okay? Especially when walking downtown. It's incredibly inconvenient and you know it, so scoff at someone else, reader-face.) I also get home at 7-8 a lot of the time, or I'm incessantly lazy. The latter isn't an excuse as much as it is a general trend. I have homework, and generally more of it than I appreciate.
Anyway. If I track things, maybe I'll see what I can cut out of my diet. Big problem: I require the occasional change of pace. I can't eat oatmeal every morning for more than about a month. So, every four weeks, if I've done the same thing generally every day, I need to switch it up. It's easier to predict that if I keep a chart than it is if I hope I'll still like it, buy it and waste it. It's happened, and I feel bad contributing to such a large global problem. Where some want to save the chickens (and my heart does go out to those who can avoid meat, because I can't yet) I want to actually eat what I pay for - and not overeat. So far, the latter hasn't been too problematic.
So far, I think my most intelligent approach is a long-term Excel sheet. I can do one every thirty days and see where I'm at by the end. It'll be easier to edit, leave me with fewer sheets to read, and give me a better way to compare daily stuff like mood, snacking and so forth. It might help me with my migraines, my hormonal fluxes and my sometimes-tired sometimes-not phenomenon. Hope it's a not-sucky idea.
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